“What would a dude do?”

It's a question we find ourselves asking before negotiating salaries, advocating for promotions, defending our point of view, giving tough feedback, even before shoving our way into the last subway seat.
Why? Because women have been conditioned to sell themselves short. And despite our best feminist intentions, these habits can still get the best of us.
But what would a dude do? And whatever mind-bogglingly self-assured thing the average dude does, shouldn’t we have every right to do it too?
If dudes are out there making demands, taking up space, and commanding respect, we have every right to do the same. And then some.
**Sometimes we just need a little reminder.**

So what do dudes do?

Dudes ask for more.

On average, women negotiate for higher wages less often than men, which contributes to the gender wage gap. According to a 2018 article by Joanne Lipman, men are four times more likely than women to ask for a raise. When women do ask, they usually request 30% less than men. In a study of 78 master's degree students, only 12.5% of women negotiated their starting salary compared to 52% of men. This difference in negotiation behavior results in a potential loss of up to $1.5 million in earnings over a woman's career, estimated by Carnegie Mellon University economics professor Linda Babcock, co-author of the book Women Don't Ask. While younger women are gradually narrowing the gap by asking for raises and being the primary earners in their families, there is still a significant disparity in negotiating pay.

Dudes take up space.

As feminist professor Charlotte Riley points out, “men have been socialised, for their entire lives, to take up space. Men who would never express these thoughts out loud have nevertheless been brought up to believe that their right to occupy space takes precedent over anyone else’s right to be there. They spread their legs on tubes and trains, they bellow across coffee shops and guffaw in pubs, and they never, ever give way.” So let’s start taking up space. We suggest a quick game of Patriarchy Chicken during your morning commute.

Dudes assume they’ve got what it takes.

According to the article ‘Why Women Don’t Apply for Jobs Unless They’re 100% Qualified‘, typically men will apply for a job after only meeting 60% of the qualifications on the job description, while women are more hesitant and will only apply after meeting all 100% of the qualifications. So let’s stop selling ourselves short and start selling ourselves as candidates for jobs we may not feel 100% ready for. Dudes are already doing it every day.

Dudes work their connections.

Lisa Rabasca Roepe asserts that the gender difference in how we network can have a big impact on career opportunities. Women emphasize the moral implications of networking, assuming they’re “exploiting” their network if they ask for help. Men are willing to network with just about anyone as long as that person can help them reach their goals. “Men are socialized from the get-go to understand that mixing business and friendship is what you do”, says Rachel Thomas, president of LeanIn.org.

Dudes talk themselves up.

According to a 2014 study entitled “Solutions to Women’s Advancement”, women still believe that their talent and hard work will get them ahead. Self-promotion was referred to by the participants as awkward and not helpful for their advancement. Because of their reluctance to promote themselves, women can be viewed in the workplace as lacking confidence.

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